Another day, another post.
There have already been plenty of blessings and surprises on this journey, but today may have been one of the most uplifting.
Here’s what happened:
Conversation with Year-Two Leader
Yesterday I mentioned that I would be having a conversation with the year-two leader of my two-year intensive leadership program.
We had a conversation about some of the things I’ve recently uncovered about myself, especially while growing up in Japan.
There was a situation with an abusive social studies teacher / basketball coach when I was in Jr. High, specifically an instance where my dad decided to confront him. One day, we were scheduled for a conversation at the principal’s office, and the principal, the teacher in question, my dad, my sister, and I were all present.
What I didn’t realize is what I made this event mean. I made it mean that I didn’t matter and that I should get out of there.
What the leader helped me understand is that everyone present was showing me the highest form of love they could show.
- My dad – wanted to ensure my safety
- My sister – didn’t want me to suffer
- The principal – showed up to listen
- The teacher – engaged in the conversation
This was earth-shattering stuff for me. I feel this conversation helped me fulfill my intention to love myself, others, and God or the Universe more in a significant way.
Personal Interactions
I don’t know why. But meeting with people in person has ranked high on the “irrational fear” charts as of late.
Today, I was tasked with serving a customer who was going to come to my door to pick up her product.
I wasn’t super wary of the interaction, but I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it either.
Ultimately, the interaction ended up going much smoother than expected, which encouraged me in a big way.
Team Meeting
I had my weekly team meeting to discuss my forthcoming January event, and this ended up lifting my spirits as well. I’m starting to regain some sense of normalcy, though I still feel exhausted.
Stumbles
I knew that there would be stumbles on this journey. I suppose the experiment is not about being perfect, but rather about noticing when I’m lured in by fluffy entertainment or temptation.
Based on some earlier discoveries, I am allowing myself to watch tame comedy movies now, so that’s not a stumble.
The stumbles are more concerning the “temptation” side of things. I’ve managed to keep these to brief detours, and I’ve avoided porn sites generally, but in the category of “stuff that turns me on” I’m not doing perfectly.
Encouragingly, I feel like I am developing a lot of patience by continuing in this experiment.
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