It Will Never be the Same

It Will Never be the Same

Whether as a remark, statement, or headline, I’ve always found this to be an odd one.

The phrase denotes tragedy, and tragic events generally aren’t easy.

But when people say, “it will never be the same,” I wonder what they mean.

I wonder because change is the only real constant in this world. The only guarantee we have is that things will change.

Of course, we all resist change now and again. No one wants to lose a loved one, or to become paralyzed, or to fall ill. There are undesirable changes.

But on a granular level, you’ve already changed. You aren’t the same person today as you were yesterday. Cells are dying and replenishing constantly. You will never be the same, no matter how hard you may try to recover what you used to be.

Every day, things are transforming. There are many things that will never be the same. You may only notice miniscule changes most of the time, major ones occasionally. But today isn’t the same as yesterday. It will never be the same.

You can count on life never being the same. You will wake up tomorrow, and it will never be the same as it was the day before.

Maybe that’s not a problem. Maybe it’s just the way it is.

Sure, we may want to hold onto the way things were. But change is not a malevolent force. It’s unpredictable, but it’s reliable.

Maybe we miss the changes that should be enjoyed and celebrated more. Maybe we focus too much on the changes we don’t like.

When we say “it will never be the same” we are telling the truth. But it’s as true now as it was yesterday, and it will be just as true tomorrow. So many things will change between today and tomorrow.

You’re right when you say, “it will never be the same.” But this is a constant, not an event.

Maybe we can lose the drama around “it will never be the same,” because you’re right, it never will be.

Scramble

Scramble

What if everything you tried didn’t work?

What if your best ideas, best plans, best strategies, best efforts didn’t pan out?

What then? Would you give up?

What if you knew it was time to get your act together? What if you knew you didn’t have much time left? What if you knew it was now or never?

What changes would you make? How would you adjust?

Would you move to a different city? Make new friends? Start a business? Try a new workout routine? Embrace minimalism?

If you knew that you would simply be trying old things in a new way, would you feel discouraged about the fact that breakthroughs may not be forthcoming? Or, contrary to all evidence, would you continue to believe in breakthrough results?

It’s a big decision. Would you think long and hard on it before getting into action? Or, sensing the limitations of time, would you spring into action, doing something daily to create the life you’ve always wanted to create with the time you have left? Even if you have no idea whether those actions are going to lead anywhere?

Perhaps there’s a different option.

Maybe you could live your life in three-, six-, or 12-month capsules. Give something your full attention for a while, before moving on and trying something else. After all, what’s a quarter, half a year, or another 365 days in the grand scheme of things? Maybe you could indulge the multi-passionate within you. It could be a fun life.

Perhaps we could let go of the significance and drama of the situation altogether. Maybe we could adopt a laidback, easy-going attitude instead.

What if you created life as an experiment? What if you let your curiosity drive you? What if you held onto that curiosity for the rest of your life?

There are many ways of approaching the situation. The only thing needed to find solutions is to see the problem from different angles.

What’s even more fascinating, though, is that the “situation” itself is a creation. It’s not real. It doesn’t exist. We know this because the situation doesn’t have an opinion on the matter – only you do. Since you’re the only one with an opinion on the matter, it’s all context, and contexts are created.

What context do you want to create? This is the ultimate question.

Transformation is Now

Transformation is Now

Transformation occurs in the moment.

There is no waiting for transformation.

There is no working towards transformation.

Small progress is not snowballing and gaining momentum towards big progress.

Incremental change isn’t leading up to a breakthrough.

Transformation is now. And if it isn’t, it’s not transformation. You should be skeptical of anything that isn’t happening now because tomorrow is but a concept.

Today is all you have, and tomorrow will just be another today. It will only be another now when you get there. The time “in between,” so far as we’re concerned, doesn’t exist.

Here and now is where transformation happens. Here and now is where transformation is needed. You don’t need it tomorrow. You need it today, and it’s available today.

You either say what needs to be said, or you don’t.

You either give up alcohol, or you don’t.

You either begin doing what it takes to lose weight, or you don’t.

There is no middle ground.

The change you’ve been waiting for will not suddenly tackle you to the ground and announce itself.

Why? Because you’re responsible for that change. You already have everything you need to make that change. The power has always been within you.

Don’t hide. Don’t play small.

You’re here for a reason, and your vision matters. You can make a difference as much as anyone else can. No one is any better than you. And, importantly, you can start now.

Who cares about what you did or didn’t do? You did what you did, and you didn’t do what you didn’t do. That has nothing to do with what’s occurring in this moment.

Don’t talk about creating the life you want. Create the life you want. It’s available now.

Don’t look for transformation, don’t talk about transformation, don’t work towards transformation.

Transform. Now.

A Time for Change

A Time for Change

I recently shared about how I’ve been experiencing more flow in life.

But intuitively, I knew things were about to change in a major way.

No sooner did my weekend training session begin (for the yearlong leadership program I’m in) when my landlord texted me to announce that they would be selling the house.

After I shared the news with my mom, she said:

Always a challenge but there seems to be a right time for everything.

True, finding a new place to live and carrying through with a move isn’t my idea of fun.

But I immediately saw this as an opportunity.

An opportunity to be in conversation. To share with my friends what’s going on. To begin the search for a new place to call home, even if it is temporary.

I am a digital nomad, and I am set up to live a nomadic life. Sure, I’ve gotten a little fat in the last couple of years (not literally – I’ve been getting in much better shape in the last few months), but trimming the fat as a nomad is par for the course. Here we go again!

Too much comfort can grow stale, even the good kind of comfort. And when there’s no change in life, not only do I get bored, but I can also feel quite sad. I’m not inspired by that kind of life.

Ready or not, change is coming.

But it’s always what you make of it.

Your World Changes

Your World Changes

Based on the changes you’ve gone through.

It seems counterintuitive because focusing on yourself seems selfish.

But the world around you truly does improve when you improve.

We tend to get frustrated when others don’t change the way they look at us, especially when we’ve gone through transformation.

But we need to be careful. Sometimes, we’ve forgotten to change the way we look at others, because we’ve held them up as the problem for so long.

Return to an old situation with a new perspective, and you may be surprised to find the changes you’ve longed for have already taken place.