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“I’m frustrated, tired, and stuck. And I don’t feel like doing anything about it,” she said.
This comment struck me as familiar. Probably because, indeed, I had heard it before, from the same friend.
Her and I went on to discuss the personal development program we were planning to take – both for different reasons.
She because she felt irreversibly stuck in her business, and me because I felt like a fire was being lit right under my butt.
I don’t feel stuck myself, I just feel like progress has been incremental and slow as of late. As someone who has experienced breakthrough, I know the difference between slight improvement and exponential growth. And it’s hard to be happy with the former when you know what the latter feels like.
As I see my friends continue to engage and advance, I can’t help but feel a responsibility to keep on myself. I started a chain reaction of transformative learning back in 2018. If I hadn’t gotten into the program, it’s quite possible my friends wouldn’t have either.
Growth is Not Comparable
Since 2007, I have engaged in personal development daily. Which doesn’t prove anything in and of itself, except that I have consumed my share of books, podcasts, courses, and so on.
Because growth is not comparable. Someone will take three courses and create fortune enough to buy a yacht. Others will take 10 courses and will have only moved from a small home to a slightly bigger home.
Progress isn’t always measurable in material things alone. Growth can come in many forms, be it personal fulfillment, better quality of relationships, increased vitality, or otherwise.
And what people desire to create is not uniform. We each have our own visions of what “breakthrough” could look like in any area of life.
But if you go as far as you can see, you will see further.
The question I have, though, is “how do we get out of this insanity?” How do we curtail feeling stuck in our lives without relying on more transformative programs? Is it necessary to fall into a rut every single time before we realize the need for more courses? Or is ongoing, continual, never-ending engagement in transformation par for the course? What makes the difference?
I have more questions than answers.
And this post is more rant than content. More free flow than form.
If there’s anything I do know, it’s that I have not produced all the results I seek to create in life or business, despite diligent, persistent, tenacious, hardworking effort.
I have accomplished some big goals to be sure. And I’ve created a degree of freedom once only dreamed of. But I have scraped and clawed for all of it. There was little luck involved.
Looking back at where you were only one year ago, or five years ago, can offer needed context and perspective.
And I can see that I was not at the level I’m at now only a year and a half ago. Which goes to show that, indeed, I have grown tremendously.
I do wonder, though, if I have yet to find my exact calling. I’m close, but I don’t know that I’ve hit the bull’s eye.
People say I’m doing a service when I create resources for musicians. But it’s a complex and nuanced market to promote to. Without the daily grind, results aren’t exactly forthcoming.
At one time or another, I have been excited about everything I have worked on. But some of what used to fire me up doesn’t have me jumping out of bed in the morning anymore.
Passion can be a moving target. So, maybe that’s beside the point. Because, as I said, I haven’t stopped growing.
What I would like to know is whether the life I desire is more scraping and clawing, or if there is another way that isn’t just more of the same, long walk in the desert?
I would like to know whether it’s possible to feel good about life and work without having to constantly go for a “mindset refresh” or relying on yet another resource that’s supposed to be the “answer” but is sometimes little more than a placebo.
Don’t worry for me too much. I’m thinking aloud.
My personal development journey is far from over. And I hope I haven’t deterred you from yours.
What I’m looking for is a lasting breakthrough. Something more than momentary elation. A sense of wholeness.
Maybe that’s asking for too much. But I’m not sure my search will be over until I find it.
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