Welcome to pitching fails, where we tear bad pitches a new one.

Study these well, because it is to your benefit. The better the communicator you are, the more you will get the things you want in life. Studying these pitches will help you become a better communicator. How’s that for a value proposition?

So, here’s today’s pitch:

As you can see, it’s pretty typical of the kind of stuff we get around here.

So, let’s break this down.

Fail #1: Who is This Email for?

“Hi.”

Yes, hi, who are you?

Really? This is the best you can do?!

You’re interested in working with me, but you can’t even be bothered to learn my name?

How lazy are you, exactly?

The only acceptable time to open an email with “hi” is when you don’t know who your message is addressed to, and even then, it should be acknowledged, like this:

“Hi, I’m so sorry. I looked everywhere for your name but couldn’t find it. There’s something I wanted to ask you about…”

But there is NO excuse when you’re reaching out to someone like me because my name is my email.

Fail #2: Egocentricity

“I manage content for a site…”

Yes, really? So, why should I be interested?

I manage content for sites too. That in itself isn’t compelling!

You’ve got this all backward. You don’t open an email by talking about you. You open the email by talking about me.

Who am I to you, why did you reach out to me specifically, and what have I done that impressed you?

If you don’t have a good answer to these questions, don’t even bother.

But our friend doesn’t stop there… oh no, they throw good money after bad (although I should really say “bad money after bad”).

They tell me that they would appreciate a do-follow backlink.

Now, this is rather expected, but telling your recipient how to run their blog is RARELY a good idea.

Can you feel that rage thermometer filling with liquid hot magma yet…? 😡 You bet you can!

Fail #3: Vague Value

Our guest posting friend is convinced they can “provide significant value” to my readers, but let’s examine this closely…

Have they done ANYTHING to demonstrate this value so far?

Hmm… let’s see:

• They spent no time researching my site
• They were too lazy to address the email to me let alone anyone
• They didn’t compliment me – if anything, they were completely self-absorbed
• They told me how I should run my blog
• There’s no indication whatsoever that they even know what type of content gets published on my blog

Nope. Sorry. I don’t see any value in this pitch.

Chiefly, there will be no value on the other end of responding to it either.

Fail #4: It Reeks of Form Mail

The “Sent with Brevo” sticker isn’t doing this pitch ANY favors. It’s a clear indication that an email template was used to contact hundreds or thousands of people, with zero customization.

Sending mass emails might get you a few nibbles…

But most of your recipients are annoyed at these types of messages GUARANTEED.

Our friend is using a cloaked email address of sorts (and probably a pseudonym too), ostensibly to avoid being blacklisted…

But you can almost bet they’re getting a few angry responses from people who don’t appreciate being contacted this way.

What He Did Right

I suppose our friend isn’t a total loss… Here are a few things he did right:

• He got to the point. I’ve got to give him some credit here. There wasn’t a lot of unnecessary waffling in his message, and that’s a concept PR people never seem to understand (but that’s another topic for another time).
• He asked for what he wanted. Again, there was no beating around the bush here. He said he wanted a guest post and a do-follow link, and he didn’t muddy the issue.
• He asked about my submission process and specific requirements. Not that he would have followed them, if push came to shove, but at least he asked. I will put it out there, though, that my “requirements” would include payment for an hour of my time, which goes for a cool $150 per hour nowadays.

More Pitching Fails

• Pitching Fails #3: Guest Poster Can’t Find the Win-Win Opportunity
• Pitching Fails #2: Content Sponsor Wants to Cover Business, Tech, Fashion and Crypto on Music Business Website
• Pitching Fails #1: Dog Groomer Asks for a Spot on Music Business Podcast

Conclusion

What did you think of this pitch?

Would you have responded to it?

What did you learn today that you can apply to your pitches moving forward?

Leave a comment below and let me know.