People Pleasing is Robbing You of Your Destiny

by | Feb 27, 2024 | Personal Development

Déjà vu. I am once again aboard the 10:10 to Nanaimo, the Queen of Cowichan my nighttime mistress. It’s mostly quiet aboard, and it appears there are fewer creatures of the night lurking about than last time.

My day began with a coaching call, one equally as impactful as the last three, if not more so. And the key takeaways were:

  1. It’s time to declutter. I’d already begun the process of selling some of my belongings, mostly as a stopgap. I did not know that I was intuitively following the guidance of GUS (God, Universe, Spirit). My coach told me it was time to release the attachment. I visited my storage unit in Abbotsford today, immediately recognizing that there were more things in there than I had remembered. I brought a few items with me to sell, give away, or throw away in Nanaimo.
  2. Redefine “worth” and “worthiness.” This will require some deep thinking. I only have a foggy idea of where to go with this, but one thing I do know is my previous definitions of worth and worthiness were flawed, incomplete, or otherwise unworkable.
  3. Support myself. No one else is going to do it for me. I must be willing to support myself first, careful not to give too much of my time or energy away to those who are all too willing to take, take, take, and take some more.
  4. Stop worrying about what other people will think. You’ll choose a partner. You’ll buy a course. You’ll book an event. It will blow up in your face. Others will think you’re nuts for making the decisions you make. But you’re the one who gets to lead the cleanup crew, so why worry about what people in the nosebleed section are whining about? Be true to yourself first.

***

They say when the teacher is ready the student appears. Today, having put to bed Alinka Rutkowska’s HOW I SOLD 80,000 Books, I intuitively chose Ching-Ning Chu’s Thick Face, Black Heart for my next reading, a volume recommended by the legend himself, Dan Kennedy.

It did not take long for me to see that this student was ready, and Chu was just the teacher I needed.

Recent challenges gave me pause. They had me questioning my worth and even my very existence. Why me? Why now? Why financial challenges, a problem I was supposed to have solved 10 years ago?

Opportunities kept presenting themselves but were missing follow-through. It left me scratching my head. I had laid the groundwork (I dug my wells before I got thirsty – in as many ways as I could) to avoid this very situation, yet seemingly the worst-case scenario was unfolding.

Says Chu:

I have seen many people grow old, but not graciously. Their eyes reflect pain and disillusionment. They have been beaten by life; they have so many broken dreams. The hope and expectation of youth have vanished – only death awaits.

But these lessons are necessary, offers Chu, because they prepare one for the greatness, they are fully capable of attaining.

Delving further into the book, I started to realize that I was not sufficiently detached from my situation to see the forest for the trees.

Not that one should not feel the pain but having felt the pain for long enough, one should not be afraid to become their greatest critic and take a more sobering look at the decisions they’ve made leading up to this point. And more importantly, to begin looking for solutions.

The lessons were probably inevitable, so there’s no point in debating semantics. But whether one decides to upgrade their mindset and carry on pursuing their dreams is a matter of choice. Will you rise again or wait for death?

After hardship, whether one decides to upgrade their mindset and carry on pursuing their dreams is a matter of choice. Click To Tweet

***

One of the greatest pieces of wisdom that’s been passed down through the ages is Matthew 10:16:

Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves. Be ye therefore wise as serpents and harmless as doves.

The average person has figured out the latter part. They have not figured out the former. Yet, the serpent part comes first in the verse and the dove part second, suggesting that the first is more important.

If you’re sheep amid wolves, you are in imminent danger of being eaten. You do not have time enough to afford to be as harmless as a dove, though appearing that way may be to your advantage. If you want to negotiate your way out of certain death, you must also be as wise as a serpent.

This is a key lesson for all of life. You are either going to think for yourself or let others think for you. You are either going to be a creator or a consumer. You are either going to sell or be sold to. If you’re not on the right side of this equation, it should not come as any surprise that your dreams feel out of reach.

I am preaching to myself as much as anyone else. You can shoot the messenger, but if you did that, there would be no messages worth heeding.

***

I would love to continue diving deep with you, but very soon, the Queen will dock in Nanaimo, and I will be headed home for a much-deserved rest.

If you made it this far, I know you have the grit to keep fighting through life’s many obstacles. That means you should also be ready to make a deeper commitment to yourself. Not later, but today.

So, pick up your free copy of the Productivity, Performance & Profits Blackbook to affirm your worth. You can get it done, but you will need the book to illuminate the darker paths on your journey. Secure your copy today.

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