Nobody Wants You to Succeed (Not Even Your Mother)

by | Feb 26, 2024 | Personal Development

It seems like a lifetime ago that I was aboard the Queen of Cowichan, but in calendar time it has only been a little over a month. The Queen and I have now become a little more familiar and comfortable with each other, and I like that the relationship is simple. She takes to the seas while I do some of my best writing.

Tonight, I am told I am going to be recognized for my accomplishments in Langley, thus the expenses paid trip across the ocean. And I can already hear you asking, “What accomplishments would those be, David?”

The simple truth is I don’t know. I may be recognized for something other than what I am going to acknowledge myself for here.

Either way, on February 16, at our live music and multimedia extravaganza called Clean Slate, I launched:

Music, writing, comedy. Three of my favorite avenues of creativity, plus a new offer. And it was not exactly a cakewalk to have that all done in time for the event, promote the event, and have it run smoothly save for a few minor glitches (if only in my eyes).

As much as an event is a one-off, I reserve judgment as to Clean Slate’s ultimate impact because the aftermath has yet to play out in full. Given that attendees were posting photos and videos days after the event should give me full license to bask in the afterglow, even if only for a fleeting moment.

Plus, you never know about creative endeavors. Sometimes they show promise out of the gate, sometimes not. But I have enough data to show that my book will have legs, especially with additional exposure. So far as the other creations are concerned, it remains to be seen, but I know they enjoyed some early attention.

There is much to reflect on, however, and it’s become clear that some viewed the entire venture as irresponsible and reckless. Let me say this is not the first time others have held that view of me and my actions (and probably not the last time), but not to worry – they are not frequent buyers of mine (have at them!).

I also have no intention of dwelling on what people outside of my inner circle think, as it’s unlikely it will help me, and I will not persuade them one way or another.

My best friend said to me, “If not this time, you would have done it another time and gotten the same lesson,” and that’s the perspective that resonates with me most. One way or another, GUS (God, Universe, Spirit) had a message and a lesson to deliver to me, and I was going to receive it, even if it was a year’s supply of Humble Pie and facepalm memes.

***

We don’t like to see others (well, loved ones anyway) fail. But even worse, we don’t like to see others succeed. We don’t wake up thinking to ourselves, “Gee, I sure hope Jessica wins / makes / earns a million dollars today.” And we’ll do nothing to help her in the first place unless we see there’s something in it for ourselves.

People succeed despite the crabs in a bucket sand trap, not to mention the people you’ve once called brothers and sisters who never had any intention of supporting you and never will.

I am not saying anything that can’t already be found in the annals of tomes I’ve consumed. Even your mother did not wake up today hoping that riches and fame would bum-rush you. She wishes you well, but not that well. Almost no one wishes you that well, and if they do, grab hold of them and don’t let go.

Remember this on your unconventional life journey, if that is the path you’ve chosen – actions always speak louder than words, and you need to beware of those whose actions don’t seem to line up with their words, especially when it comes to supporting you and your ventures.

It’s human nature, so there’s no point in arguing with it. But it’s well worth tattooing on your brain, lest you be hurt and disappointed for what is unfortunately criminally common.

***

Naturally, I sought advice from my mentor. I think he is one of many who deemed this entire venture irresponsible and reckless. Whatever his words, though, his actions show (and have always shown) that he is one of the good ones.

To summarize the conversation, he advised me to:

  1. Find a stable living situation. This has largely felt out of my hands for the last 21 months. Yet, I have a good support system now, and with the help of my friends, I know I can make this happen.
  2. Find a stable income. I have been in transition since January, and as the event neared and very little was coming through in terms of income or work, I turned my attention fully to the event. It was my baby and if I did not give it the attention it was screaming for, who knows what would have happened. But that part of the journey is over and I’m homing in on what I want to do to secure a part-time income.

He also suggested that I was young, and I could always go and be a digital nomad or take chances on crazy ventures and investments later.

Yes, perhaps I could take some time to stop and look around. Again, it’s not my favorite kind of pie, but at least it’s pie…

***

Isn’t there some part of you that feels like you’ve already earned everything you desire? Don’t you think you’re worthy?

There’s a difference between this and feeling entitled but sustain those feelings of worthiness for just a moment.

If you don’t on some level believe you’re deserving of what you want, you may never get it. The good news is you can flip that switch any time you want. The bad news is the number one thing that’s keeping you apart from what you want is feeling like you’re not good enough.

Look at the legions of deadpan nothings that have achieved fortune and fame on YouTube. It’s not about content, or for that matter quality content, friends. It’s about posting the dumbest doo-doo you can think of. Appealing to the lowest common denominator.

More to the point, in life, you can take chances. Or you can sit back and watch. Hope that someone will anoint you the artist, creator, or entrepreneur you want to be. Understand – this is unlikely, and if it happens at all, it will happen at a Tortoise’s pace.

Just look at the prospect of getting a medical doctorate. “Success” comes after eight years of intensive schooling, but then there’s another ladder to climb because you’ve got tuition debt to pay off. After that, another ladder to climb to become the most in-demand doctor at the hospital. And so on.

It’s up to you whether you take risks in life – calculated, moderate, reckless, or otherwise.

All I know is taking no risks has been a life of frustration and disappointment, and that appears the greater risk – a dark, lonely, unrewarding struggle.

***

When you’re out there taking chances, remember this – nobody wants your success. They all think you’re crazy.

And it’s not about fighting the facts. It’s about what you do with this information that matters.

You can hold steady to your goals and ambitions. You can stand your ground. Or you can admit defeat and give up. Neither is wrong, but if you’ve ever felt the call to something greater, it’s unlikely the burning fire of passion within will ever die completely. Even if you don’t feel it now, all that means is it’s bottled up. Uncorking that sucker may be akin to opening Pandora’s Box, but it’s still better than living in denial of your purpose.

If you’re not one of the crabs in a bucket, and you know you’re worthy, then I invite you to pick up your free copy of Productivity, Performance & Profits Blackbook. Isn’t it time you started filling your shelves with resources that can see you through your struggles onto something greater? Don’t die with your music still in you. Get started and stay started with the Productivity, Performance & Profits Blackbook.

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