I show up every day to produce the best possible work I can.
I am aware that, at times, I am not doing my best work. I rarely think what I produce is total hogwash, but on my off days, I can see that what I’m creating is “great adjacent.”
As I gather feedback on what I think has the potential to change people’s lives, I’m seeing that it’s not quite doing what I hoped it would. At least, not yet.
I can accept that I’m still developing it. I haven’t published it in an official capacity. But it’s disappointing to see that it isn’t quite finding resonance yet.
And this is where I’ve landed on this:
I feel like others possess a superpower I don’t, which is self-awareness. Maybe there’s a separate term for what I’m thinking of – I’m not quite sure what it is right now – but I’m not just talking about the psychological definition of self-awareness, which is your actions, thoughts, and emotions relative to your own standards. I’m talking about how you show up in the world.
I feel like others are far more aware of how they’re showing up. Meanwhile, I don’t know if I’m coming across energetic or tired in a video until I’ve filmed myself and watched the footage.
I might need you to tell me when what I’m sharing is showing up as authentic or inauthentic. I honestly can’t tell. I might need you to tell me when my content sucks and when it doesn’t. I can’t tell.
And if there’s a secret to self-awareness, I would love to know. I have very little if any of it.