Life Transitions, Day 9: Injury

Life Transitions, Day 9: Injury

I braced for landing. But it was a little too early.

Although I did not land on a hard surface, when I came down, I injured my foot.

Along with the pain and surprise, I soon found out I couldn’t even walk.

This is Life Transitions. Welcome to day nine.

Life Transitions Series

Did you miss a day? Here’s a complete list of topics covered to this point:

Life Transitions, Day 1 (Introduction)
Life Transitions, Day 2: Resistance
Life Transitions, Day 3: Jobs & Careers
Life Transitions, Day 4: Location
Life Transitions, Day 5: Relationships
Life Transitions, Day 6: When the Sandcastle Crumbles
Life Transitions, Day 7: Recovery
Life Transitions, Day 8: Pivots

Injury Related Life Transitions

I think it near impossible to find an athlete who hasn’t suffered an injury.

And let’s face it – we’ve all had mishaps as children, remember it or not. It could be as innocent as a scrape on the knee, or something more consequential, like a broken bone.

I remember breaking my arm when I was six, in Japan, just before Christmas. My parents bought a Commodore 64, and I couldn’t play with it until my arm fully healed.

Though it’s possible to recover from injuries, it certainly depends on the severity.

If you lose a toe, you might not get it back. The process of recovery will still follow, but some injuries are permanent, or at the very least, far reaching.

The wrong kind of injury could end an athlete’s career. If you do physical labor, then you may end up being unable to continue in that capacity.

Injury is usually painful, sometimes shocking or traumatic, and occasionally permanent.

To that extent, I can’t make light of life transitions ushered in by injury. If you end up having to give up something you love, or your livelihood, due to injury, you will likely go through a major life transition.

Letting Go of a Dream

I grew up in Japan, but my family always returned to Canada for the summers and spent time with family.

My grandparents bought a trampoline, and it was always one of my favorite pastimes at their house in the rather remote, Barrhead, AB.

The accident I referred to in the introduction happened on this very trampoline.

Summer was only just beginning, but while bouncing and playing with my cousins, I damaged my Achilles tendon. Although I don’t remember much from that summer, I know that I spent the rest of it on crutches.

At that point, I may not have been self-aware enough to know that I wanted to become a professional athlete (baseball, soccer, or basketball).

And, I had even less awareness that this injury basically spelled the end of my career before it even started.

I did learn to walk, run, and jump again. I even participated in a lot of sports in school, especially between grade five and grade nine.

But if I pushed myself too hard, inevitably, that injury would begin to flare up again. And going past that point surely would have meant lasting damage to my Achilles.

Somewhere deep down, I think I had the sense that I would end up doing something creative in life and that I wasn’t meant for sports. But still, having to give up a dream can be challenging.

In my case, I figured it would be better to have my mobility than to risk an injury I might not be able to recover from.

Injury & Identity

In most cases, the most challenging aspect of injury is how closely it can be tied to your identity.

If you’re an athlete that loses the ability to play their sport, the shock and trauma you experience could be significant.

If you have a physical labor job, but end up with a bad back, you might end up having to develop other skills.

What’s important to remember is that your identity, contrary to popular belief, is not what you do. It’s who you are.

And who you are is written on your heart. It’s always with you, and if you’re willing to listen to it, you’ll begin to see not only who you are but also what gives you the greatest sense of fulfillment, contribution, and impact in life.

I’m not saying it’s easy to shift from one thing to another. But it is possible. You are just as resilient as anyone else, and if you commit yourself to the process, you can switch directions and even become successful.

How to Deal with Injury Related Life Transitions

Although the basics of life transitions never change, the specifics can.

There isn’t a one size fits all solution when it comes to dealing with injury.

If it’s a minor injury, then letting your body heal, and using the appropriate healing modalities, should be more than enough.

Life transitions can still stem from a small injury though, depending on what you make it mean (e.g. “I always hurt myself playing baseball, so I will never play again”).

If it’s a serious injury, then you may need to spend time in rehabilitation to recover movement or mobility.

And if it’s a semi-permanent or permanent injury, then there will be a period of mourning like anything else, in addition to acclimating to the loss of a finger, hand, limb, or otherwise.

In mourning, as I’ve shared before, what’s most critical is allowing yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. By becoming present to it, acknowledging it, and not running from it, you can release it in time.

But if you try to suppress the pain and turn to addictions, the energy will be stored in your body. Dormant energies always resurface and typically at the most inopportune moments.

While mourning, it’s important to follow your heart. Journaling, meditation, and counseling can prove incredibly useful, but they are not cure-alls.

Transitions post-injury can also be challenging, especially if you end up having to change professions or find a new career to pursue.

Take it all in stride. Remember – despite this concept we refer to as “time”, which is always passing, we as humans have mastered difficult coordinated maneuvers, be it driving, dancing, playing an instrument, or otherwise.

This means with enough practice and repetition, it’s possible to teach yourself to do just about anything (within, of course, your physical limits).

Injury, Final Thoughts

Injuries can hurt. They can be shocking and traumatic.

We may end up needing to change our careers or lifestyle based on injury. And that can make life even more challenging.

But there is always the opportunity to mourn, adapt, and learn from injury, as well as the process of healing and transitions.

What injuries have you suffered? How did you deal with them?

I look forward to sharing more on life transitions, and if there’s anything you’d like me to cover, drop me a line.

Leave a comment below.

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Life Transitions, Day 8: Pivots

Life Transitions, Day 8: Pivots

Having fought for as long and as hard as I could for the results desired, without any indication of change or improvement, I had no choice but to admit something just wasn’t working.

And I had never even considered that stopping to assess the situation would offer a new perspective and a breakthrough.

The recipe had always been there, and so were the ingredients. But I couldn’t even see it until I began to reflect.

This is Life Transitions. Welcome to day eight.

Life Transitions Progression

If you’d like to follow along with the series up to this point, here are the quick links to access recent stories:

Life Transitions, Day 1 (Introduction)
Life Transitions, Day 2: Resistance
Life Transitions, Day 3: Jobs & Careers
Life Transitions, Day 4: Location
Life Transitions, Day 5: Relationships
Life Transitions, Day 6: When the Sandcastle Crumbles
Life Transitions, Day 7: Recovery

Life Transitions Involving Pivots

A pivot is generally a small change.

Oftentimes, it involves taking something you’re already doing and optimizing it for desired results.

For example, maybe your workout routine is growing stale and providing minimal results. So, you add something new to the routine.

Or your doctor told you to incorporate more greens into your diet. So, you begin doing exactly that and buy a container of mixed greens at the grocery store.

Sometimes, as in business, a pivot can be a more significant change. Repositioning yourself based on market conditions, competition, customer demands, or trends that could be capitalized on.

Pivots can take time to implement and adjust to, but generally they’re more like developing a habit than enduring a major life event or trauma.

Developing a habit may take some time (the often cited 21 days is perhaps a little off base), but it doesn’t take forever, and once in place, it tends to do wonders in terms of results.

The Importance of Pivots

Network marketing was my official introduction to entrepreneurship and business.

Although I never did all that well in it, for me it served as a critical education.

I can still recall what my mentors would often say when I was on the right track, but not quite hitting the bull’s eye with my prospecting efforts:

“Just make a little tweak and you’ll be off to the races.”

This wisdom is easy to take for granted.

I have seen people who were in jobs they didn’t especially like, or those who were off course for a period.

Most people are 80% on track with their life purpose, know it or not. Our nature and nurture naturally bring us to the things that excite and interest us most.

And while a “life purpose” may sound grand, sometimes it truly is just going to the office, working eight hours per day, and going home to be with your family every night.

What may not be immediately obvious is that little adjustments can take that 80% to 81, 82, 83, and so on.

But these small adjustments can challenge our comfort zone. So, it’s easy to say, “yeah, I could make that change, but based on the effort to payoff ratio, I don’t think it’s worth it.”

We say this thinking we have some idea of what the payoff is going to be, without realizing that a 1% improvement in direction can sometimes amount to exponential change in our lives long term.

A 1% improvement in direction can sometimes amount to exponential change in our lives long term. Click To Tweet

How to Uncover Worthwhile Pivots

This isn’t always straightforward or obvious.

If you’ve been working hard for a long period of time without a break, though counter-intuitive, now might be a good time to take two weeks off.

If you’re used to being in action and never stop to think or reflect, though counter-intuitive, now might be a good time to lock yourself in a cabin without electronics.

We can easily get set in our ways without realizing that our actions aren’t bringing us any closer to desired results. And when that happens, we often end up putting the blame on ourselves.

By taking more actions, we just end up cementing the rut.

So, more pressure leads to more “figuring it out”, which leads to more action items to be completed in a day, which leads to no expanded results, which leads to more frustration. And the cycle will typically continue until you’re forced to stop.

The easiest way to uncover worthwhile pivots is by listening to your heart. If it’s coming from your heart, the solution will seem so eloquent, so obvious, and so in alignment with who you are, that you’ll ask yourself why you didn’t think of it before.

Getting in touch with your heart may take something. Meditation is often a good place to start. When you meditate, inevitably, painful emotions and feelings will arise. As you sit with, allow, acknowledge, and love these feelings, you’ll experience release, and your connection to your heart will grow.

Putting Your Pivots to the Test

Discussing your pivots with trusted coaches, mentors, or others committed to your grown is often a good way of determining whether you’re on the right track.

But going out and telling everyone you know isn’t advisable.

It’s been my experience that people are rarely excited about, or motivated by, the same things you are.

So, when you have what you think is a life-altering revelation, those around you might respond with a nonchalant, “that’s nice.”

Leading up to that moment, you may have been on fire about your new idea. But because a loved one didn’t demonstrate the same level of enthusiasm; you begin doubting yourself. It takes the wind out of your sails.

My suggestion would be to discuss the pivot only with those already mentioned – coaches, mentors, and others committed to your growth.

Beyond that, put your change to the test. And as you go about making the changes, ask yourself:

  • Do I feel connected to my heart?
  • Do I feel encouraged or do I find myself spiraling into a frustration cycle again?
  • What are the results telling me since I’ve made this change? Are they leading to expanded, breakthrough results?

If you feel disconnected from your heart, if you feel like you’re succumbing to frustration, or if you aren’t achieving more (based on data, not based on a gut feelings), then it may be time to go back to the drawing board.

Pivots, Final Thoughts

Fundamentally, pivots save us from doing the same thing over and over expecting different results, which is the very definition of insanity.

The things you need to do to uncover worthwhile pivots will likely be counter-intuitive. But if they are heart based, they are usually productive.

Have you made a pivot before? How did you handle it, and what were the results?

I look forward to sharing more on life transitions, and if you have any questions regarding this topic, I’d love to answer them.

Leave a comment and let me know.

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Life Transitions, Day 7: Recovery

Life Transitions, Day 7: Recovery

Having endured long delays at the emergency, I decided to go home.

If the physicians weren’t going to see me after hours of waiting, then I must not have been a pressing concern.

The logic sounded good. But as arrived home, got into bed, and closed my eyes to fall asleep, the fear welled up in me again.

And now, I couldn’t sleep. I punched and screamed into my pillow in disbelief. How could I have ever done this to myself?

This is life transitions. Welcome to day seven.

Life Transitions Progression

If this series has piqued your curiosity, here are the quick links to past stories:

Life Transitions, Day 1 (Introduction)
Life Transitions, Day 2: Resistance
Life Transitions, Day 3: Jobs & Careers
Life Transitions, Day 4: Location
Life Transitions, Day 5: Relationships
Life Transitions, Day 6: When the Sandcastle Crumbles

Recovery from Life Transitions

Recovery generally occurs post-transition.

The transition that preceded it may have been an injury, burnout, a breakup, or otherwise.

Whatever it was, it left you scarred, exhausted, or heartbroken. And now you’re on a journey of rehabilitation, or recovery, as it were.

Having grown up as a sensitive kid, I can honestly say I’ve felt all these things intensely and deeply. And, in those moments, I honestly thought I was broken and would never recover from any of it.

I have not lost my ability to be sensitive in adulthood, but having endured criticism, ridicule, rejection, failure, insignificance, and more, I can honestly say I’ve learned, I’ve grown, and I’ve changed.

By peeling away the layers, I’ve become more of myself, not less.

Because we dig closer to our identity every time, we peel away a layer.

Isn’t that true recovery?

Because to recover means to retrieve what was lost. And when we retrieve what was lost, we don’t just become healthier. We also lay claim to a piece of ourselves that’s been missing.

Although some things cannot be recovered (an amputated arm isn’t likely coming back), there’s still a process of recovery that wants to – and needs to – take place after a life altering transition.

The Process of Recovery

We often make a grave error when we assume recovery will be fast and easy.

The moment the injury is inflicted may well be the most traumatic. But healing is the part that can be the most grueling.

Rehabilitation can be time-consuming and require a great deal of mental toughness besides. Which can leave us baffled.

We know that’s the case for physical rehab. We shouldn’t expect any less when it comes to matters of the heart either.

Have you heard of the vagus nerve? It basically sits right above our hearts. There is scientific evidence to suggest that, when our heart breaks, our vagus nerve literally breaks too.

So, when you feel pain in your chest, it’s not coincidental.

Additionally, spirituality and religion has long understood the heart as one of seven key energy centers that reside in our body (again, this also has some scientific backing).

What’s most important to know is that recovery is possible.

Time Heals All Wounds?

When people say, “time heals all wounds” there is some truth to that. But we must be careful with this expression.

Because in a general sense, there are two paths to healing, and only one which restores integrity (which is the state of being whole, complete, and undivided).

The first path is suppression. Through addictive behavior, we find a way to push down our feelings until they seemingly disappear. Except they don’t. They end up being stored somewhere in your body and become underlying conditions that can flare up unexpectedly.

The second path is allowance. Allowing yourself to grieve fully. To sit with the consequences and emotions without judgement. To acknowledge them and love them. This, of course, is the harder path, but it’s healing of the highest order – not of the counterfeit variety.

So, when people say “be strong – don’t cry” they are robbing you of the ability to fully mourn an event. By mourning now, you can become complete. If you turn to addictive behavior instead, you will store that energy in your body for later.

“I Will Never Recover from This”

This is a phrase I’ve heard coming from the younger generation. And I’ve also known people who’ve lived this story.

The story itself isn’t wrong. But it’s the belief that makes it true.

The emotions don’t make it true, because fundamentally your emotions are a byproduct of your thought life. And while your thought life is 95% on automatic, that doesn’t mean you can’t be more intentional about your thoughts.

Although beliefs aren’t fundamentally “right or wrong” (and you can always choose your beliefs), you may want to examine why you feel you will never recover from whatever event or trauma you’ve experienced.

If you’re holding onto this story, it’s quite likely there is a payoff. Maybe it makes you feel special. Maybe you like the way you get treated by others when you choose this belief. Or, you believe it will give you some other advantage in life.

Anything with a payoff also has an impact. By insisting on the payoff, you cut yourself off from something important – self-expression, love, connection, or otherwise (it can even be all of the above).

Life can be difficult. But change is constant. If you don’t know how to handle change, you can cut yourself off from growth, too.

What if…

What if, just for a moment, we were to take it for granted that we as humans are resilient and can recover from anything.

What if we were to see ourselves as having been designed for any challenges that come our way (aside from spiritual implications). That challenges were just a part of the contrasting world we live in.

And by contrast what I mean is this – happiness can only exist because of sadness. Tall can only exist because there is short.

The truth is, we don’t just live in a world of contrast. We also live in a world of unfathomable symmetry.

What I’m saying is there’s no need to take these things for granted. There’s no need to imagine being superman or superwoman. Because you already are. You’ve been given everything you need to recover from anything.

The question is – will you insist on being the victim, or will you embrace your journey? Because your journey, whatever it may have been, has brought you to this moment.

Recovery, Final Thoughts

Recovery can take time. And it may require something on your part.

But it’s better to stop, recover and move forward than to remain wounded and head back into battle. You could easily set up yourself for further injury, prolonging the process of healing and recovery.

What has been your experience with recovery? What events or circumstances have you had to recover from?

I look forward to sharing more on the topic of life transitions, and if you have any questions, please let me know.

Leave a comment below.

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Life Transitions, Day 6: When the Sandcastle Crumbles

Life Transitions, Day 6: When the Sandcastle Crumbles

Persevere. Keep going. Don’t give up.

This is what I’d read in every personal development book I could get my hands on.

So, I did exactly that. I persevered. I kept going. I didn’t give up.

And I endured repeated, crushing, punishing, and embarrassing failures. Until, finally, I worked myself to exhaustion.

I had to admit that what I was doing wasn’t working anymore. Something had to change.

This is Life Transitions. Welcome to day six.

Life Transitions Progression

If you’d like to get caught up with this series, here are the quick links to access past stories:

Life Transitions, Day 1 (Introduction)
Life Transitions, Day 2: Resistance
Life Transitions, Day 3: Jobs & Careers
Life Transitions, Day 4: Location
Life Transitions, Day 5: Relationships

When the Sandcastle Crumbles

We all have some preconceived notions about how life is supposed to look and how success is supposed to work.

For example, many people live on a timeline (which is usually based on someone else’s idea of success). Graduate at 21. Get married at 25. Buy a house at 28. Have kids at 30. Work at a job for 40 to 50 years. Retire at 65.

Whatever that story is, though some end up living it, many will find their perfectly planned lives unfolding differently than they thought it would.

So much for the white picket fence, a golden retriever named Charlie, and 1.93 kids (per Statista).

Further, hardship and challenges are practically a given. Should you choose a path of growth, you may even come up against some of your greatest fears.

But to say that this is all “negative” is to paint every experience with the same brush. Life is a gift, and we live in a world of contrast. If there’s pain, there’s also pleasure. If there’s tall, there’s also short. And so on.

What we fail to understand is that once we set an intention to achieve something, the universe always takes us on the fastest, most direct path to getting it. The catch? We’ll encounter some bumpy roads on that path.

And should we resist those bumpy roads, we’ll find ourselves losing faith and starting all over. Set a new intention. Get back on the roller-coaster ride. Hit the “abort” button as fast as hard as we can the moment things don’t look the way we think they should.

That’s the cycle you don’t want to get stuck in.

Sandcastles will crumble, because they are not made of sturdy material, nor do they have a solid foundation.

But when a sandcastle crumbles, it often creates space for fresh opportunities and blessings in our lives.

“It Doesn’t Look How I Thought it Would”

If you find yourself saying this sentence, there’s a good chance a sandcastle has recently crumbled in your life, making way for something better.

A friend of mine, who’s in skincare, recently had to give up her spa space because of the pandemic.

She admitted that trying to make rent was constantly on her mind, and she was always worried that she wouldn’t be able to pay her business expenses.

So, worrying about what she didn’t want brought about what she didn’t want faster.

What’s interesting is that once she surrendered and let it go, she realized it didn’t mean the end of her business at all. Suddenly, new ideas started coming to her. And she realized that she could now go about business in a less stressful way, with fewer expenses to worry about.

What fascinates me even more is how this mirrors my experience with selling my house in 2012. It was fast becoming a burden rather than a blessing, and because I fell so far behind with mortgage payments, I was constantly worried about trying to make enough money to save the house. There was no room in my mind for anything else.

But as soon as I sold my house, I had a sense of freedom and mental clarity I’d never had before. And that got me to the point of beginning work on my first book.

Sometimes, sandcastles must fall to make way for better things in our lives.

“What Happens Next?”

This is a common question to ask after the sandcastle has crumbled.

What’s important to know is we don’t need to ask this question at all.

When you stop and think about it, you realize it was your own thinking that got you to where you are in the first place. So, seeking for what’s next from the same brain that got you into this mess is unlikely to yield progressive results.

It’s time to listen to your heart. Because, as I’ve said before, your heart has all the answers.

And while this will certainly sound like trite and maybe even confusing advice, it goes deeper than you might think.

To uncover your heart’s answers, you will likely need to engage in meditation and move into a space of letting go, surrender, and allowing (instead of your default mode – thinking, planning, goal-setting, “figuring it out”, etc.).

You don’t need to figure out anything. And that’s the magic of crumbling sandcastles. If you sit with it, allow it, and let it be, you will see something new come into your space. And you can respond to that, instead of worrying about what’s next.

This isn’t to suggest there won’t ever be anymore crumbling. But think of it this way – there are things that serve us for a season. And, if they’re no longer serving us, they will crumble.

How to Handle Crumbling Sandcastles

You don’t need to do much of anything!

If you wish, you can spend some time in contemplation, journaling, and meditation.

Humans are meaning-making machines. That doesn’t mean we’ve got to make meanings out of our failures, because there’s nothing more common (and generally harmful) than that!

A sandcastle was never designed to stand the test of time. It was never made of sturdy materials, and it wasn’t built on a solid foundation besides.

We can thank the sandcastle for what it did in our lives. Because whether we see it or not, it was in our lives for a season, and it served us for that time.

Final Thoughts

Everything is temporary. But some things have a much shorter shelf life than others. These are the sandcastles in our lives.

They may look impressive. They may make you feel good. And they always serve a purpose.

But they generally crumble to make way for something new. And the best thing we can do is give thanks for the role the sandcastles played in our lives.

What sandcastles have you witnessed crumble in your own life? How did you handle it?

I look forward to sharing more on life transitions, and if you have any questions, I look forward to answering them too.

Let me know in the comments below.

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Life Transitions, Day 5: Relationships

Life Transitions, Day 5: Relationships

In that moment, I had felt something I had never felt before.

Love? Yes. But it was so much more than that.

It was the first time I thought to myself, “I want to be married.”

Such a thought had never occurred to me before, and, I had never expected it to surface from my heart.

This is Life Transitions. Welcome to day five.

Life Transitions Progression

If you need to be brought up to speed, here are the quick links to each story in the series:

Life Transitions, Day 1 (Introduction)
Life Transitions, Day 2: Resistance
Life Transitions, Day 3: Jobs & Careers
Life Transitions, Day 4: Location

Relationship Transitions

The world of relationships is not a race.

Many people feel a sense of pride or shame about the number of “conquests” they have or haven’t had. Others feel proud to have:

  • Stayed single their whole life
  • Stayed in one relationship their whole life
  • Kept jumping from one relationship to another their whole life.

So, it’s important to understand that how we feel about relationships is how we feel about them. Our beliefs are our own, and they’re unlikely to be unanimously supported by our friends, family, peers, or otherwise.

Transitions in relationships can be traumatic, and we often underplay how significant they are for the sake of outward appearances.

American Psychological Association says 40 to 50% of marriages end in divorce. So, the sad cliché of “you’ve got about a 50/50 chance of making it” holds some water.

All relationships are for a season or a reason, and while it can be hard to accept the impermanence of some relationships, it is healthy to do so, just as it’s healthy to accept that change is the only constant we can rely on in life.

Peering into the Mirror of Relationships

You attract what you are. At first glance, this sounds like a woo-woo, Law of Attraction, “things will happen because you want them to happen” statement. But it isn’t.

As applied to relationships, we are always peering into a mirror. Seeing ourselves reflected in the ones we love as well as the ones we hate (which are often one and the same).

If there’s something we dislike in another, it’s because we dislike that quality (or “fault”) in ourselves.

If there’s something we like in another, it’s because we also possess that quality (though it can easily go unrecognized).

We live in a world of contrast, and while it may seem backwards, the people who do best in relationships tend to be those who love themselves fully. Those who first loved being single before committing to more.

Those who didn’t love being single, and were always in search of the next relationship, often ended up addicted to their partner because they were trying to fill a void, they felt couldn’t fill themselves.

The truth is this type of “void” is easily healed through meditation and the acknowledgement of past pain. It may take days, weeks, or even months. But considering how long one has held such torment (usually from childhood), it’s a drop in the bucket.

When people say, “there’s a lesson in every relationship”, this is true. But this statement is often said with a sense of resentment, when it should be said with a sense of wonderment (isn’t it amazing that we get to experience so many things in this curious world of ours?).

The deeper you dig into spiritual and religious texts, the more you discover that mirrors are a running theme. Because what we see on the outside always reflects what’s going on inside.

How to Handle Relational Transitions

We all approach relationships differently.

I identify with Phoebe Buffay from Friends. A quirky, spiritual lady who likes to play guitar. None of her relationships lasted longer than three months.

I’m a quirky, spiritual guy who loves to play guitar. And most of my relationships haven’t lasted more than three months.

The reason I bring that up, is so you understand I don’t claim to know everything there is to know about relationships. But I do know what has worked for me, and in my deep dives (hundreds of books, countless articles, podcasts, and videos) as well as my experiences, I’ve come across wisdom from the ages.

Here are some tips on how to handle relational transitions:

  • Give yourself permission. Feel how you feel. Don’t try to change it. Don’t try to fix it. Acknowledge it. Love it. Sit with it. Cry it out if you need to. Give yourself permission to mourn fully – otherwise, you will store the pain somewhere in your body, and it will come up again at the least opportune moment. You will carry it into future relationships, where it may not have any business being.
  • Express yourself. Journal. Draw. Paint. Write a song. Express yourself creatively. Allow things to come through you. Although this is not a time to force creativity out of yourself, some of the most beautiful works of the ages were borne out of heartache.
  • Accept. As I shared earlier in the series, one transition can easily lead into another. Breaking up, for example, might mean moving. And two major changes one after another can feel like total chaos. Accept yourself. Accept that it may take time to heal. But as much as possible, be present with yourself. Your pain will not last forever.

Relationships, Final Thoughts

When a relationship falls apart, the temptation will always be to run to other addictions – shopping, eating, drinking, partying, social media, and so on.

Don’t judge yourself for turning to any of these vices. At the same time, if you can, recognize the inner child that’s screaming out at you, begging for your attention.

Sit with it. Be with it. Acknowledge it. Love it. You don’t need to change, fix, or survive any of it. Things only surface to be released. Whenever you feel heartache, you are staring down an opportunity to surrender what arises.

What are your thoughts on relationships? How have you handled relational transitions?

I look forward to sharing more about life transitions, and if you have any questions that need answering, don’t hesitate to let me know.

Leave a comment below.

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