035 – You’ve Got to Trust Yourself

by | Feb 27, 2024 | Podcast

Do you trust yourself to make the right decision? Or do you doubt yourself at every turn?

While it’s a good idea to question everything including yourself, putting too much pressure on “getting it right” can paralyze you.

In this episode of Creativity Excitement Emotion, David shares why getting our constraints out of the way can help us succeed in our projects.

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Highlights:

00:17 – An unusual coaching call
01:34 – Lean on the expertise of others
02:33 – Trusting yourself
05:12 – The coaching you need vs. the coaching you want

Transcript:

I had a coaching call today, not with someone I’ve had a coaching call with before. But of all things, she was looking for some advice on researching a medical device for mental wellness patients. And it was AI-based and all this kind of stuff…

She’s like, “Well, you know about this stuff in this kind of field, right?”

What she was referring to was I know about. business plans. I know about entrepreneurship. I know how to set things up. I’ve had to produce all kinds of documents for all kinds of people. So, whether it’s grants, business plans, or blog posts, I’ve done it, and I can do it – not with my brain tied behind my back, but close.

So, this ended up turning into a very different kind of coaching session, mainly for the reason that I could hear she was stopped and she didn’t trust herself with the decisions she was making.

I looked at the structure that she had created for the goals she had set for this quarter and the project that she was undertaking. And I was thinking to myself “Okay, she may never have accomplished something quite like this before,” although she got her PhD, and she said that was a painful process.

I said to her, “This is not a difficult project if you lean on the expertise of others. In other words, assemble a team, and find the people who know this stuff rather than you trying to figure it out,” especially tedious legal details. It’s so easy for us sometimes, artists and entrepreneurs, to let go of a few things.

Even when it comes to legal matters, we try to go and research and figure it out ourselves and go on LegalZoom to find documents. But this is what attorneys are for.

Now I get that it can be a little bit pricey but go and ask them for their advice. Some people are more than willing to offer some free advice, or maybe just do something for them in exchange.

I’ve met lawyers who like to perform and play gigs. Maybe you could set them up with a gig at a local pub. Who knows, right? Start thinking in terms of possibility rather than “Well, there’s no way to do this or have this happen.”

Anyway, she’s trying to figure out what to do, so I asked her what her “point of view was.” Now, I can’t define and explain what that is. If you’re interested in learning more about the leadership programs that I’ve been taking recently, contact me directly and we’ll try to figure something out.

But anyway, I asked her what that was. It was a distinction I learned in the program. This program has set me up with incredible communication technologies and tools that I’ve never seen or heard of anywhere else. So, that was one of the things that made the leadership program worthwhile – the fact that, at its core, it’s a com communication program.

So, she figured out that she didn’t trust herself. She didn’t trust the world. She could see that she tried so many projects and tried to get them done in the past and just never got anywhere with them because she didn’t trust herself.

Like, “Am I doing this right? Is this how it’s done? And who should I get to be a part of this?”

We all get trapped in this, and I could see how if you were constantly in that state of like, “I don’t know, I don’t trust myself, I’m not sure if this is the right decision, what decision should I make?” You would just be exhausted in a very short amount of time. You’d end up wasting a ton of energy thinking about things that could be way far ahead in your project and you’re trying to figure them out now.

I know other entrepreneurs who do this sometimes. They get stuck in “What’s next?” Even when they’re taking courses, it’s kind of like, “Yeah, okay, so I heard this part and that’s great, but then, what about this?”

And it’s like, “Yeah, that’s in the next module. Just be patient, it’s coming. You don’t have to figure that out today. The thing that you must figure out today is the module or the lesson that you just took. You don’t have to figure out all the other stuff.”

That’s a good lesson for all of us, right? So, I think it ended up being a very unexpected coaching call for her. I’m pretty sure she did not expect to be coached on feeling the world was untrustworthy, feeling like she couldn’t trust herself, feeling small, and feeling alone in everything she did.

I focused on that. And the reason I focused on that was because if we could get that out of the way, there was no way she would fail. She could succeed, make this project happen, bring in team members, have them handle most of the work, and complete it by the end of the quarter, with no problem, because it was mostly research-based anyway.

But if we didn’t get that out of the way, then she would permanently be stuck in “I don’t know if I’m doing it right, I don’t know if these are the people that I need, I don’t know if this is the decision that needs to be made.”

You see where this is going, so sometimes the coaching that you think you need… you think you might need detail or some how-to, and sometimes we do, right? It’s good to figure stuff out on your own. It’s not a bad thing. It is a good quality, ultimately.

But sometimes we don’t need to figure out how to do more stuff. What we need is coaching on the constraints that we have in life. And once those constraints get out of the way, we can make anything happen because we’re powerful.

Sometimes we don't need to figure out how to do more stuff. Share on X

But those constraints are always there unless you complete them and deal with them. Then you get nowhere in your projects.